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magpiebofh's Journal
20 most recent entries

Date:2008-11-18 08:02
Subject:Sleeping with one eye open

Is your cat plotting to kill you?

Some other things to look out for in case this has you worried. In short: be afraid. Be very afraid.

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Date:2008-11-02 16:36
Subject:Crabby Sunday afternoon thought after a trip to the drugstore
Mood: amused

Maybe if we all stopped complaining about how tired we all are of hearing about the election, we'd hear a lot less about the election.

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Date:2008-10-27 23:11
Subject:Best. Halloween. Costume. EVAR.

(From the SF Chronicle.)

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Date:2008-10-27 21:45
Subject:Chicken Fried Bacon

Me: "It's fat deep-fried in fat with a side of fat."
creepyanonymous: "If you have it with the mustard it's healthier."

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Date:2008-08-11 08:17
Subject:O HAI. I HAS A BLOG?

It has been brought to my attention that I've only posted about the first few days of our trip, and I've flaked on posting other stuff because... I'm behind on the trip posts. I'll start catching up soon. SRSLY.

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Date:2008-06-22 11:07
Subject:Vacation Report: Munich and Austria

We did a few other things in Munich too. creepyanonymous had pork knuckle.

MEAT.Collapse )

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Date:2008-06-19 22:23
Subject:Vacation Report: BMW Welt

WARNING: The following posts may contain any or all of the following: conspicuous consumption, wanton use of fossil fuels, gluttony, consumption of our fine animal friends, hating on Florence, Communist kitsch, dead white males, excessive speed, wicked-looking birds of prey, battlefields, childish fixations and more cobblestones than you can shake a stick at. If any or all of this troubles you, go read about someone else's vacation.

WARNING: Unless you're my friend on Flickr, you won't see any pictures of people, particularly the one with the shit-eating grin creepyanonymous was sporting when he first saw his new baby. E-mail me if you want to friend up. [ACK! Not true, apparently. Photos of people are now links, because Flickr can't/won't enforce permissions when you link directly to a photo download.]

Cut-itized for your protection.Collapse )

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Date:2008-06-09 07:34
Subject:We're Home
Mood: cheerful



We just got home last night -- I'll upload pictures today and start blogging the trip shortly.

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Date:2008-06-01 14:36
Subject:Death Meander

Florence is not a cafe town. Cafes are places where you can sit and rest a bit and linger over a beverage. Florence "cafes" serve "food" and want you to move your tourist ass as soon as possible so they can inflict more "food" on the next victim.

This is why I'm at an Internet Train for the second time today -- it's air-conditioned and I can rest my poor, strolling-abused feet until the Mephisto store opens.

Hrm, how about some nice things to say, instead of all the whining? (Most of my nice things to say will be accompanied by pretty pictures, which are still on my camera.) Um. The not-Florence parts of Tuscany are pretty awesome. Florence is nice before 9 AM, when it starts to heat up and the tourist hordes, having finished up their free continental breakfasts, are turned loose on the city. The Uffizi? Would be amazing even if they didn't put any art in it. creepyanonymous is at Moto GP right now and hopefully having fun (motorcyclists, come to Tuscany, because there are some damn amazing roads here). But 9 days have unfortunately been about 2 days too long.

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Date:2008-05-31 15:27

On his last trip to Italy, creepyanonymous accidentally drove on the Piazza Maggiore in Bologna, then vowed never to drive in an Italian city again.

Right now he's really, really wishing he'd kept that promise.

We've decamped from the villa outside of Florence where we've been staying with family for the past week. We're now in a hotel in the middle of town for a couple of nights because creepyanonymous is going to Moto GP tomorrow and I wanted to stay somewhere with things to do within walking distance.

We wouldn't have been driving anywhere near the center of town in the first place if creepyanonymous hadn't sworn up and down that the hotel had a parking garage. I'd had a route mapped out, but creepyanonymous, who freely admits he's gotten lost in every Italian city he's ever set wheel in, goes and second-guesses the navigator.

So we end up here. Oops.

creepyanonymous is dying of embarrassment. I'm alternately comforting him and wishing out loud that it weren't 6 AM at home so I could SMS everyone we know. And the best part? Greater Florence couldn't have given less of a shit that we were driving through the pedestrian area to top all pedestrian areas. Locals were thinking, "Stupid tourists." Tourists were shrugging it off as normal Italian driving wackiness. And the carabinieri and two polizei we drove past didn't bat an eye.

OK, that's not the best part. The best part is that if creepyanonymous ever tries to question my navigating again, he is thoroughly pre-PWNED.

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Date:2008-05-20 12:31
Mood: sad

We have 12 channels of cable in our hotel in Budapest, including the Taunt-You-With-English-News-But-Block-Out-The-Sound Channel (fortunately accompanied by 2 other English-language news channels that do provide sound); the Aqua-Laser-Dampfbesen channel (a German-language shopping channel that only sells one floor cleaning appliance); the Italian-24-Hour-Freeze-Frame channel (today's selection: "Denti Bianchi", featuring a model in some godawful tooth whitening contraption); and 2 channels of MTV (Magyar TV, not that other one).

But what do we NOT have, in this cornucopia of cable? The EuroVision semifinals, that's what.


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Date:2008-05-16 10:00
Subject:Vroom vroom!
Mood: bouncy

Greetings from the Premium Lounge of BMW Welt, where we're milking the hell out of our 15 minutes of class privilege. Delivery has been taken, special Premium Snax have been consumed and we're about to go on the factory tour.

Photos of this and other adventures forthcoming over the next few weeks. Don't rob our house while we're gone, y'all.

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Date:2008-04-18 08:23
Subject:Morning Randomness #2

A little old man walks up to the mailbox, carrying a chihuahua. He puts the dog on top of the mailbox, drops a letter in the slot, then scoops up the dog and walks off.

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Date:2008-04-16 16:37
Subject:Morning Randomness
Mood: curious

Spotted outside of work today: a short black dude, dressed up in Revolutionary-era garb and with a race number pinned to his chest, being filmed repeatedly running across the street.

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Date:2008-02-24 09:43
Subject:My Girl Crush on Tina Fey Now Goes to 11

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Date:2008-01-05 21:26
Subject:A Community Service Message from El Suburb!

We were driving home from dinner when we passed through a big, smelly cloud of smoke.  We tried to figure out where it was coming from, got it narrowed it down to 1 or 2 houses and were debating about whether to call 911 (since the cloud seemed to have vanished), when a cop car pulled up.  Another cop, an EMT and a fire engine later, it was determined that one of our neighbors had started a fire in his fireplace, but hadn't cleaned his chimney in a very, very long time.

Three useful lessons:
1) we have alert neighbors
2) El Suburb's finest have a very quick response time
3) clean your chimneys, kids!

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Date:2007-12-30 11:09
Subject:Most shortsighted NIMBY neighbors EVAR

After a tiger got loose at the San Francisco Zoo on Christmas and killed a zoo patron, people have understandably been taking a closer look at how the zoo is managed. Along with decades of unsolved problems and a zoo manager with a history of autocratic decision-making comes this little gem:

And a public address system that could have warned zoo visitors about the tiger escape and urged them to take shelter or evacuate the grounds was dismantled about 15 years ago, after zoo neighbors complained about the noisy announcements from the loudspeakers.

If I lived near enough to a zoo to hear the loudspeakers, and they can use that system to announce that a tiger is loose, you'd better believe that the last thing I'd be asking that zoo to do would be to dismantle the loudspeaker system. If the tiger had actually gotten further and ran loose in the neighborhood, those same neighbors would be down at City Hall absolutely howling about how they weren't notified fast enough.

What the hell are people thinking?

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Date:2007-12-27 22:03
Subject:How You Know You're B-List

You're a starlet in LA who was killed off your then-declining television show well over a year ago and you haven't had a project of note since. Then your inevitable DUI arrest happens... and the LA cops misspell your name on your booking sheet.

Awww. At least TMZ still cares.

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Date:2007-12-26 21:31
Subject:Christmas, and the Worst Earworm Ever

So Christmas was fun and tasty. Sweetcheeks smoked up a huge prime rib and the panettone bread pudding recipe I poached from Giada was a hit (and met with a lot of "I don't normally like panettone, but..." comments).

And my mother the perpetual project-starter, who talks about big things but rarely follows through (ask her about her kitchen remodel, or rather, don't, because it makes her a little punchy to get shit about the same thing for going on FIVE YEARS NOW) -- my mother actually finished a quilt, which she presented to my aunt to gasps of surprise and cheers and applause and one snarky declaration that "it's a Christmas miracle!" from someone who shall remain creepyanonymous.

But enough of the Christmas cheer. Jette asks in today's Holidailies writing prompt what holiday song you would like to see "banned from the face of the planet" and why.

That one's easy -- Paul McCartney's "A Wonderful Christmas Time". It looks inoffensive on the surface; togetherness is certainly something to celebrate, right? But then it gets a bit dictatorial: the mood is right, yet there are poor children who should be singing this song instead of crying. If the mood really were right, would Sir Paul need to bring these wayward tots in line? And right about at that point of the song, the singsongy chorus has locked itself away in your brain and OMG PLEASE NO MAKE IT STOP AAAAAAA.

The worst part is that it leaves scars. You might not have heard that song in days, but all it takes is one repetition of that one line of the chorus and the trauma comes flooding right back.

What holiday song do you want to see killed dead forever?

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Date:2007-12-24 22:07
Subject:No Cell Phones Please

From Arinell's, a pizza place in Berkeley.

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